"Who Are You Not To Be?"

So, this week didn't start off so well.  On Monday morning, I managed to cause over $2500 worth of damages to my car due to some large branches laying on the highway.  Many of you know when it comes to my driving skills, I seem to find a way to hit anything inanimate in my way.  I had to pay about $1200 for damages on my car at the beginning of the year, and now getting it repaired again.  Good thing I should get it back the first of the week.  Thankfully, my trusting dad is letting me borrow his car while mine is in the shop.  It stinks that my deductible is $1000 which sets me back on the money I'm earning for NYC.  I've been working a lot of extra shifts to hopefully compensate for the difference.

New York City? Yes, I said it!  I will be going to NYC again in 1 1/2 months!  I am very excited, yet nervous!  I will be leaving June 22 and returning July 22.  I will be taking a course to get my certification to teach English abroad!  My precious friend Andrea will be flying out with me and helping me settle in for the first weekend.  After that, I'll be in the big city on my own discovering new things and most likely sipping some joe at my favorite spot like I've always imagined.  I won't be all alone, though.  My sweet friend Mariah will be there doing an internship with a church, so we have plans to do some sightseeing and hanging out on the weekends!  But I don't mind being by myself.  I have applied to stay in a women's residence.  I haven't heard back from them yet, so I'm worrying about that.  It's possible that I will find out just a couple weeks in advance.  Yikes!

God really began to speak to me about what I want to do in this chapter of my life.  I've been inside of Shawnee, OK my entire life.  I love being here, but I've seen it for 28 years.  What about the rest of the world?  While in New York City this Christmas, I was given a tiny snippet of what traveling is like and seeing new places.  I have this strong desire to see the world.  I think I've been afraid to leave my comfort zone, but what if there is something even greater God has for me, He's just waiting for me to step out.  Only God knows where He will call me, but I want to be ready and willing to go when He does.  I am so thankful that I have friends that asked, "Brittney, what is your passion?"  Friends that have already stepped out in faith to something that God is leading them to.  This really challenged me to ask God what he wanted for me and not continue to grow complacent.  I ask you the same question.  What is your passion?   Is it to minister to children or youth who are longing for someone to invest in them?  Or to sacrifice your security to travel overseas and bring Jesus to those who have never heard.  Will you become a better example for your spouse and children by allowing Jesus to show you the picture of what a Godly man or woman looks like?  Or perhaps, follow a dream that God has continued to put on your heart and you've let fear and insecurity convince you its silly and ignore it.  Whether you are here or there, single-married-divorced-widowed, he has a purpose for you!  If you don't know what it is, ask Him!  I will leave you with a poem that I have read and heard probably hundreds of times!  It's never really struck a chord in me until the last few months.  I hope you enjoy!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
-Marianne Williamson

I also recommend the book "Wide Awake" and podcasts by Erwin McManus.

Blessings,
B